Two Years

Friday marked two years of waiting to adopt.
I ignored this, didn't want to think about it.
I honestly never thought that we would wait this long.
We are ready! And have been!
But...we're still here.
No end in sight.


Sometimes, 

I wish we hadn't even tried to adopt.

I hate knowing that we were so close, more than once.

I hate knowing that legislation enacted more 

than a year and a half after we began our adoption journey

is stopping us. 

Sometimes, 

I wish that we hadn't formed a bond.

That we hadn't had a second match.

I wonder about both those babies,

their families and mommies. 

Sometimes,

I wish that I knew how to reach out,

and get our faces and information

to a mother considering adoption,

privately.

But I don't know how. 

And I know that I get to wonder.

Are there more children in the future for our family?

I am so, so grateful that we had our Monkey.

It's still hard to slowly lose our dreams

of a houseful of kiddos.

Some Fun and Some Thoughts

Monkey had his very first soccer practice tonight!

He really seemed to love it.

Kevin is one of the assistant coaches for his team -

it was adorable watching them attempt

warm-ups and kicking the ball around. 

Monkey was super proud and thought

he "looked SO cool!"

wearing his shin guards, socks and cleats. 

I think it will be a lot of fun for all of us. 

*****

On another note, we keep going back and forth with this. 

Since we have a move coming in the next several months,

should we wait until then to reactivate our contract?

Do it now, and let it run out?
Wait, wait - we finally remembered that damn law.
The one that doesn't let us work with outside agencies, facilitators
or adoption professionals.
So how do we reach out then?
How on earth is a mother considering adoption
supposed to FIND a family like us?
Should we just...

Go back to fertility treatments?

I really wish it weren't so hard to provide

a loving home for a child.

You always hear about the kids that are neglected, 

abused, abandoned....

why are there so many parents

who WANT to adopt, but can't then?

*****

Back!

Monkey and I have been back from our trip 

to South Carolina for about a week and a half.

Kevin got back from training

last Friday. 

Our family is back in the same house! 

It's been awesome. 

Monkey is like a velcro leach onto

Daddy, but it's very cute 

(and annoying at times, I'm sure.)

However, I am not the leachee, 

so not my issue. 

We had fun in SC, 

got to see The Nana, 

go to the beach

(where everyone burned but Monkey, 

because he has awesome skin). 

Had fun with friends. 

And since we've been back, playing with Daddy has been number one. 

There was a Pampered Chef Part here tonight. 

A baby shower on Saturday 

for a friend here. 

Tomorrow is washing serving dishes, 

making pompoms, 

and baking biscuits. 

Her shower is going to be a tea. 

Was supposed to be a brunch, 

but that is a long, ugly story. 

Everything is going well this summer.