Two Years

Friday marked two years of waiting to adopt.
I ignored this, didn't want to think about it.
I honestly never thought that we would wait this long.
We are ready! And have been!
But...we're still here.
No end in sight.


Sometimes, 

I wish we hadn't even tried to adopt.

I hate knowing that we were so close, more than once.

I hate knowing that legislation enacted more 

than a year and a half after we began our adoption journey

is stopping us. 

Sometimes, 

I wish that we hadn't formed a bond.

That we hadn't had a second match.

I wonder about both those babies,

their families and mommies. 

Sometimes,

I wish that I knew how to reach out,

and get our faces and information

to a mother considering adoption,

privately.

But I don't know how. 

And I know that I get to wonder.

Are there more children in the future for our family?

I am so, so grateful that we had our Monkey.

It's still hard to slowly lose our dreams

of a houseful of kiddos.