But that is how adoption feels. Find an agency/facilitator; find a social worker and get home study done; make adoption profiles...then wait. Once you've done everything you can do, that's all there is.
Then it happens! Someone would like to speak to you about adopting their baby. In our case, we've spent a couple of months getting to know R. After we heard the news that we had been chosen, suddenly there was more to do. We were due for our annual home study update - did that. Found a lawyer in her state - done! Mail the retainer, and a copy of the updated home study. Talk to R. Form a relationship, a bond of sorts.
As it becomes more real, we've started to get ready. Clothes, cradle, car seat. Bottles, blankets. Talk to our Monkey about Baby Sister. Last week, we had a wonderful shower. This is the week that we are supposed to go and meet R in person! We made these arrangements so that we could get to know each other in person, and also because she has delivered fast before. Since she invited me to be in the delivery room, R and I thought that us being nearby was the better plan since we live about 12 hours apart.
Now it seems like it is moving so fast! But crawling by at the same time. As D-day approaches, I find myself more nervous. Right now, we have to take it on faith; trust and believe in God's will. But....will everything go as planned? Will R's wishes about delivery and signing TPR be honored? Will the doctors and nurses be supportive of her in the way that she needs, and not pressure her to sign or to parent? What if R does decide to parent? Will Kevin and I be able to graciously accept this decision and not completely turn into a puddle?
This is an amazing, hopeful time for us. It is a heart-wrenching, tumultuous time for R.
Above all, this is absolutely terrifying.