Lilypie Waiting to Adopt tickers

Lilypie Waiting to Adopt tickers

Thursday, March 22, 2012

Empty

That's the word of the day.

Car seat, cradle, swing, sling, arms, house.
EMPTY.

I didn't think I'd have any issues being back in our home. 
I guess I was wrong.
I put the swing back in the garage, and the cradle in the spare room.
The car is still packed, but the clothes and diapers will get put in there too.
I suppose we will go pick up the dresser, 
and then I will pack away the clothes, diapers, woolies and bottles.

I wandered around the house for a bit, unsure of what to do.
When we got here, we should have been busy.
Unpacking stuff.
Letting the dogs get a sniff of a blanket or hat to smell the baby.
Trying to relax, while juggling Monkey
and feedings, changing diapers, and basking in our new larger family.

I don't know what to do.
And whatever it is, I do NOT feel like doing it. 
No cooking. No unpacking.
Just forget it.
I am in my giant comfy bed, and here I will stay.

Part of me wishes I could just text or call R up like before.
Even though baby isn't ours, I felt that we had formed a friendship,
R and I.
I hope she's doing alright.
I wonder what she named the baby.
I hope her family keeps their word and gives her all the help she needs.
I want her to know that I am not mad.

Just brokenhearted.
But we both knew that one of us would leave the hospital brokenhearted.
How do you hope for that?
Someone to hurt?

Most of all, even though we want to,
how are we going to do this again?

3 comments:

  1. Hey! I don't have a way to contact you but i saw this on my friends blog and instantly thought of you!!

    I was contacted with a situation of AA twin boys born yesterday and the birth mother is waiting for an AA family or biracial with at least one AA parent to place. If you are home study ready and meet the requirements please contact me for information asap. I'm sorry, I know many caucasian families who would love to adopt them but the birth mother was very specific. My email is adoptivemomma2@yahoo.com

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you so much for thinking of us! I replied as soon as I saw this. <3

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  2. Did you hear back? Email me at baby.wanted@ymail.com

    ReplyDelete